Philippines - All the feels

If you ever wonder why Filipinos are known to be such happy, lovely people - it's because they come from a little bit of paradise on earth. 

I didn't know that I needed the Philippines until I went to the Philippines. My trip there was more than a holiday. There is a unique feeling to the place that everyone I met there experienced, but could not quite adequately express. Amazing? Yes. Stunning? Yes. Magical? Yes. I could go on, but what I really need to say is that to experience the Philippines is to experience a feeling. It is a place that gets under your skin. The natural beauty made me feel beautiful and at one with myself in a way I never felt before while travelling. There is no room for being self conscious about oneself in a place so perfect in every way.

We spent the majority of our time in Boracay and El Nido, two massively contrasting places. Boracay is El Nido's rich, slick, older brother. Each have their own charms, but perhaps because we went to Boracay first, it stole my heart and I yearned for it for the rest of my trip. Most of the hotels are along the beachfront, which is marked by 'stations'. We stayed near Station 1, which is the quieter end of the beach with bigger hotels and less people. It was only a short and pleasant walk along the beach to the main stretch where most of the bars and restaurants were. We were ashamed of how little we explored the island itself. We spent the majority of our days on the beach and in the sea. When you see how it is you will understand why. We tried paddle boarding and it was no surprise to me that I was terrible at it. I spent most of my time in downward dog yoga pose because one of the locals told me it was the easiest position to stand up from. That might have been a joke but I did manage to stand up once from there so it did the trick! When you see all the pictures of celebrities doing yoga on paddleboards - don't be impressed. It's easier than standing up trust me!

The nights we spent drinking ridiculously cheap beers and cocktails in various bars on the beach. Not to be missed is the Boracay Pub Crawl. You pay a set amount and get a t-shirt, shot glass and ten free shots that night, along with drinks deals in the various bars you go to. We met great people from around the world and the captains that lead it are amazing fun. We loved it so much we went twice. The second time is cheaper if you already have the t-shirt and shot glass.

My first impression of El Nido was not great. On arrival, I was struck by how grimy and dirty the town was. In Boracay we never saw rubbish anywhere, it was immaculately looked after. El Nido is teeming with backpackers and it shows. I was starting to regret leaving Boracay....THEN I did my first tour; Tour A (there are three main trips A,B and C), all operators offer the same ones although I think the quality slightly differs. We went with El Nido Boutique Arts Cafe, which was recommended in the Lonely Planet guide. Tour A takes you to the lagoons, along with some beaches for swimming and snorkelling. It was absolutely stunning. I realised the attraction of El Nido. El Nido is just base camp for visiting the Bacuit Archipelago. As you sail around, you are surrounded on all sides by small islands, hidden beaches and caves. I also did Tour C which was visiting more hidden beaches, swimming and snorkelling. Just another day in paradise really. I did get stung by jellyfish on Tour C (they were everywhere) but they were babies and it was more irritating to the skin than painful. Nothing the sea water didn't cure. El Nido nightlife? Less flashy than Boracay, think Phi Phi or Siam Reap and you get an idea. I do feel very strongly that you have to go to Trattoria Altrove for their amazing pizza. Yes it's weird getting pizza in the Philippines, but believe me it is worth it (I got two in the 5 nights we were there). It's probably the best pizza I have had outside of Rome. Go early to avoid the queues.

My blog is not as specific as I would usually get when writing about a place. For me the Philippines left a strong impression, not because of one thing that I did, one place I visited or one restaurant that I ate in. It was the place itself; the heart of it, the beauty of it, the spirit of the people. So intoxicating was it that I felt different as a person, just from being there. Some trips are just trips. Some trips really leave a lasting impression on you and change the direction you see yourself going in. No matter the plans we had before going; they went out of the window when we arrived and got swept up in the days we spent there. I recommend that you visit and let the place do the same to you.

Did the sisterhood ever really exist?

'If we stop defining each other by what we are not and start defining ourselves by who we are, we can all be a lot freer' - Emma Watson

It's been a while since I wrote a blog post. There's something about working full time that seems to have the ability to take all your time and creativity. Lately though (and in particularly since November 2016), I have found more and more things I want to speak out on.

Today I wanted to post about something that has been niggling me lately. It is an issue close to me as I approach 34, but I think it is a wider issue in society as a whole. After all, the personal is political. I am referring to the tendency of women to judge other women. I have touched on it in previous blogs and really nothing has changed. It could even be getting worse. Women are more vocal about feminism, more supportive of each others choices and rights, and yet we cannot stop looking at each other and comparing the choices we have made in our lives. We all do it. What about the men I hear you say? Well I think men make our lives hard enough, sure they do, but I think this issue is a strictly female one. While men will support each other, women can be more inclined to tear each other down. You can see it every day on social media.

I'm going to put this out there now. Some people are going to say, 'well yeah duh' and some will be like 'ah sure, rabid feminist alert' but I don't care, I truly believe this. Hillary Clinton lost to Donald Trump because she was a woman. I am simplifying a very complex issue down to the bare bones here, but there you have it. Let me phrase it another way, only a woman could have lost to Donald Trump. On paper, stack them up side by side and the least qualified candidate won. It happens in jobs all over the world when the most qualified candidate is a woman. That's because, although the 'boys club' lives on and thrives, women cannot seem to commit wholeheartedly to the 'sisterhood'. Exit polls suggested that 53% of white women voted for Donald Trump. How on earth any woman could vote for a man they heard on tape bragging about sexual assault is beyond me, but they 'just did not like' Hillary. I would like to add as a disclaimer that women of colour actually came out in force for Hillary, but theirs is a different experience to mine and I will not speak on it.

I'll pull you back from politics now before I lose you. I could write a million blogs on that subject, but I actually want to bring you back to more mundane day to day stuff. Now I am 33, single and with no children, my marital status is one of the first things I am asked. When people realise I don't have children, the next question is usually 'do you want childen?'. I say people, but it's women. It's not men that ask me that question and that is why I say, as women, we have got to stop. We have to stop judging, we have to stop imposing our own desires onto others, we have to stop trying to 'help' people that are simply choosing to go down a different path. Maybe I don't want children. Maybe I cannot have children. If that is the case, would it not be painful for me every time someone asked? Maybe I cry every night because I want to meet the love of my life (I don't by the way, just some nights), so when my friend sends me yet another suggestion on ways to find a man would it not be painful for me? Most of the time the intention is good. But they do say that the road to hell is paved with good intentions. I don't see the same expectation being placed on men. Why is a single man in his thirties a bachelor who just needs to have some fun before he settles down, while a single woman in her thirties must be a desperate spinster trying to decide whether to freeze her eggs or not?! This is just one example of the expectations women put on other women. I highlighted this one because it bugs me in particular at this time in my life. Every day though women judge other women for the way they dress, who they date, how they speak, the careers they chose, the way they behave, etc etc. The list goes on, I could write a blog on each one and how damaging they are. Women even judge each other on the feminist movement they identify with (that's a whole different issue!). I believe women now have a responsibility to think about the impact their unconscious actions (even their thoughts) have on other women. We are holding each other back every time we reduce each other down to a basic societal expectation of what it means to be a woman.

For me, feminism is about women having equality, freedom and choice. That is the choice to be whoever they want to be, go wherever they want to go, fuck whoever they want to fuck (you get the point). So all of us need to consider this when we look to the women in our life who maybe don't have the kind of life we do, or want what we want. Instead of shoehorning each other into this one size fits all idea of what a woman should be, we should be embracing each others differences, encouraging each other to live life and follow the path that truly makes us happy. For some, that's a little house in a small town with a husband and children. For some, it's travelling the world alone and experiencing new things daily. For others it's getting married eight times (go Liz!). There was a time in the not so distant past when having this choice was not an option. Women did what was expected of them and the ones that dared rebel, joined the ranks of fallen women before them. We have come a long way, but as Hillary Clinton learned last year - we still have a long way to go.