Ik hou van Amsterdam

My experience in Amsterdam is that cyclists ride where the hell they like and aim in a state of rage at all pedestrians while ringing their bell loudly, the concept of avoiding people being foreign to them - Terry Pratchett

I try not to visit the same place twice on holiday. It's a vague rule I have because there are so many amazing places in the world and I like to try somewhere new each time. However, Amsterdam is one of those rare destinations where I have no qualms about breaking 'the rule'. I loved it from the moment  we came out of central station and that's not even the nice part of town. Even though Terry Pratchett was right about the cyclists, I managed to avoid being rammed and enjoy the city. Aside from the typical tourist attractions such as Anne Franks House (very moving and informative, I'd write a blog on that alone if I felt I could do it justice) and the Rijksmuseum (like the V and A but not free, a must for art and history buffs) here are some of my highlights.....


Firstly, if possible, stay on a houseboat. Four of us stayed on an amazing houseboat in a beautiful part of Amsterdam. It wasn't the tourist area which was a blessing because I didn't like that part of town too much. It was also great because, as opposed to a hotel where we would have been confined to our rooms, we had a kitchen, living room, dining room and boat deck to spend time on. So it's particularly handy if you are going with a few friends. Our houseboat was http://www.houseboatbedandbreakfast.com/. It was very swish and Wim (the owner) was very friendly and accommodating.

If you want amazing steak head to http://www.restaurantred.nl/. This was recommended to me by my foodie ex boss as a place for good food and Dutch celebrity spotting. Not knowing any Dutch celebrities we went for the food! It basically only serves steak or lobster for main but when they serve steak like that they need nothing else. I have eaten steak in some of Australia's best restaurants and this was up there with them. They also have a very good wine list. After all you need a good glass (or bottle) of red to wash your steak down right?! Rather amusingly even though everyone in the restaurant looked rather hip we couldn't tell if any were celebrities but when we left and got into a taxi we got papped! There were about four photographers hanging around outside who took photos of us leaving. I have no idea who they thought we were and I've tried not to think about how awful those photos would have been. Maybe I should have done a Britney and attacked them with my umbrella but surely that would have been letting my new found 'fame' go to my head too much. Plus I didn't have an umbrella...

I'm not going to say too much about the Red Light District itself. I didn't like it much. It was seedy (surprise) and to be honest without jumping on my soapbox I felt sorry for the poor girls standing in the window trying to attract custom while being ogled by all and sundry. Of course hypocrite that I am I  couldn't not see a sex show. When in Rome and all that. Going on my experience of hecking out a ping pong show in Thailand I was ready to be grossed out BUT it wasn't like that. The people on stage going at it were actually rather attractive. Unfortunately they were also rather like robots. Watching guy after guy pounding some girl while he looks like he's waiting for a bus is a bit strange. I can't really blame them, having sex with a colleague in front of approximately 100 people in varying degrees of intoxication probably wouldn't rock my world either. It's a fairly surreal experience, like any other night at the theatre except with naked people doing naughty things (although some might say that's just like a Daniel Radcliffe play). I'm not sure what was more disconcerting, the middle aged Indian lady that sat next to me and then kept asking me about moving closer to the front so she could sit next to her friends (I think she just wanted a better view) or the two young German guys that took her place and started making small talk about where I'm from and where I'm going after the show. Of course all of this is happening while the revolving procession of 'performers' plays out on stage. The show must go on as they say! Seeing as I've never made small talk while watching people have sex on stage before even I was slightly discomfited. Bravo to the performers though, they certainly gave it their all physically, if not mentally. We went to Cassa Rosso, in case you are interested: http://www.casarosso.nl/.


It would be unfair of me not to also mention the small (but important) fact that everywhere I looked there were beautiful men. Amsterdam has more than it's fair share of hotties I can tell you. Mainly though, I think I loved the fact that I could imagine myself living in Amsterdam very easily. It is a beautiful city to meander around and I could admire the houses lining the canals all day long. I didn't see anywhere near as much as I would have wanted to, I know there is a lot more to discover. The people are friendly and fun which came as no surprise to me because my Dutch friends are exactly like that which is why I am so fond of them. Amsterdam definitely captured my heart and I will be back for more.